Friday, October 14, 2011

Dear Ikea,

Why do you not have a store in St. Louis?  Look, I know we're no Chicago, New York, or L.A., but c'mon.  We're still a major city - a dangerous, blighted, dying city, but a major city nonetheless.

I know that most of your furniture is nothing more than sawdust held together with glue and a prayer, but I can't resist your fashionable, cheap home decor.  Take these planters, for example (priced from $1.99 to $5.99):

They're sleek.  They're modern.  They're just what I'm looking for.  However, your nearest store is located in Chicago, a full 300 miles away.  I'm not going to drive up to the windy city just to pick up a few pots, so the obvious solution is that you open a retail store here.

How else am I supposed to get my mid-century modern planter fix? The only places you can currently find such things in St. Louis are artsy hipster shops where they charge an arm and a leg.  I beg of you.  We need your mass-produced Scandinavian wares.

Kind regards,



  1. Ah, the irony. Here I sit in Dallas with an Ikea only a few minutes away...and I never go.

    In the spirit of full disclosure, however, I'm not really wasting precious Ikea opportunities. If I want something, I just have my kids pick it up for me when they're there. :)

  2. Ikea is awesome.
    I sympathize.

    -Ton S., Chicago

  3. Thanks for rubbing it in guys :P

    I just want a place where I can pick up cheap, stylish planters. Is that too much too much for a man to ask?

  4. I've noticed that there are people who have turned assembling Ikea furniture for people into full-time jobs. Maybe I need to become a professional Ikea shopper and, for a small fee, ship the things they don't sell online to cities like St. Louis! ;)

    Seriously, I really, really HATE going to Ikea. It's always a madhouse and isn't worth the trouble. I think that means I'm old, because I say that about a lot of places these days...clubs, concerts, the state fair. Yep, old.

  5. i went to school in springfield IL and have friends in STL...i know what u mean...they too want to have an ikea in STL ..hope u have one very soon