Dear Ikea,

Why do you not have a store in St. Louis?  Look, I know we're no Chicago, New York, or L.A., but c'mon.  We're still a major city - a dangerous, blighted, dying city, but a major city nonetheless.

I know that most of your furniture is nothing more than sawdust held together with glue and a prayer, but I can't resist your fashionable, cheap home decor.  Take these planters, for example (priced from $1.99 to $5.99):

They're sleek.  They're modern.  They're just what I'm looking for.  However, your nearest store is located in Chicago, a full 300 miles away.  I'm not going to drive up to the windy city just to pick up a few pots, so the obvious solution is that you open a retail store here.

How else am I supposed to get my mid-century modern planter fix? The only places you can currently find such things in St. Louis are artsy hipster shops where they charge an arm and a leg.  I beg of you.  We need your mass-produced Scandinavian wares.

Kind regards,

Nick